


Lately I've Been Feeling (Out of Control)

by Wolfgang_in_the_Stars



Category: Mushishi, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Mushishi, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Kakashi is Tired, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mushi - Freeform, Other tags to be added, Plot-Driven, Sakura is badass but she's not the nicest at first oops, Sasuke is emotionally constipated but that's just him, Slow Burn, iruka is the kindest soul, just Naruto and Sasuke trying to cope with life, other characters to be added - Freeform, selective mutism, tagged E for the explicit smut but you can skip it, you don't need to know anything about Mushishi to read this fic!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:20:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24625381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfgang_in_the_Stars/pseuds/Wolfgang_in_the_Stars
Summary: Naruto and Sasuke were best friends, once upon a time. Then Sasuke had left him, and four years later, Naruto finally manages to catch up. Now they're both students, navigating their lives as students and as people involved in more.–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––Naruto can see mushi, primitive life forms invisible to most. Sasuke wants revenge on the mushi that destroyed his family, but he's realising he might lose more than that in his quest. Sakura just want to be able to live the life she wants for herself. Kakashi is their supervisor at university, but he finds himself embarked for much more than just that.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 10
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first time I'm posting a fic in this fandom! I'm a bit nervous ahhh... I hope you'll like it!  
> I have quite a bit of it written already, so I'll try to update weekly. Hopefully I can keep that up 
> 
> The universe is loosely based on mushishi, in today's age. There will be more explanation on mushi and Naruto's gifts in the future, so please look forward to that :)

Naruto exhaled slowly. He felt like shit. 

Out of control.

He’d been feeling that a lot lately. He took another deep breath, and let it out slowly. Closing his eyes, he forcedly repressed his loneliness. 

He’d gotten sadly good at that over the years. 

Sighing one last time, he stood up properly from where he’d slumped on his balcony, and went back inside. 

Naruto was twenty two, living on his own in Tokyo. His parents had died when he was young, and he was living on a sort of pension and thanks to the money from his part-time jobs. He’d moved out from his small hometown when he’d got in at university.

And now he was a Todai student. He never thought he’d get to say that some day. 

Being ostracised his entire life had forced him to reconsider his priorities. At age 14, he decided that if he couldn’t make people love him – or at least, not despise him, then he’d have to make them admire him. 

Going to university might mean just that. And more importantly, it might mean finding Sasuke again. 

Naruto had worked his ass off, and he’d gone to university for a bachelor of science. He’d kept working hard, and eventually managed to get in at the University of Tokyo for his masters degree. He had had to get into the University of Tokyo, it had been his goal all these years, it was the only way to even have a chance of finding Sasuke.

And now, for the first time, he was living in a big city. 

The dorms weren’t too far from his campus – a forty minute bike ride every morning. He didn’t mind, really. Coming from a small town, he was used to having to bike his way around a lot. 

His apartment was in a new complex, and the rent would have been way too high if it wasn’t for his pension and the arrangements the administration had agreed to. The buildings were organised in blocks – four blocks per floor in his building – with floors dedicated to men and others to women. A badge gave you access to your own block and to the common area on the first floor, and otherwise, people from one gender weren’t expected on the floor of the other gender.

For such a modern place, the rules were so old-fashioned it made Naruto cringe. 

Not that he could do anything about it.

And there he was now, in his small 10 m² room, turning around on his desk chair. He had decorated part of his white walls with a huge LGBT flag, a framed picture of a fox – his mother had been a professional photographer, another framed picture of his parents and him when he was just a baby – the only one he owned, and a picture of him and Iruka taken when he had graduated from his bachelor.

Iruka had been the only one to come for him to the graduation ceremony. He was the only one that mattered and that he was still in contact with, in any case.

Not for the first time, he wondered what his parents would think of him, whether they would be proud of the man he’d become.

And like everyday for the past four years, Naruto wondered if Sasuke was alright. If he was safe, if he was happy, if he still forget to put his glasses on to study. If he missed Naruto at all, if he felt even slightly the same way as Naruto did. 

  
His rumbling stomach pulled him out of his thoughts. Right, dinner. 

  
Naruto had grown up on instant ramen. Ramen was still his favourite food, and it managed to cheer him up in any given situation. 

Naruto was filling the kettle when a shiver ran down his spine.  
« _You’re being watched_ », said the deep voice of Kurama.

Naruto discreetly looked behind his shoulder but saw no one. The weird feeling was gone. 

« _Do you think I should burn more incense?_ » He asked Kurama.

The fox spirit agreed vaguely. Naruto hurried to finish the preparation of his dinner – not that there was much to do. He went back to his room to eat. Once there, he took the old case he kept in one of the drawers underneath his bed. 

« Which one should I use? » He wondered out loud. 

« _A stick of Tokusen Kohshiboku will do._ »

Naruto grumbled under his breath at the answer. Most people his age spent their money on restaurants, manga, karaoke… He spent most of his on incense. It was crazily expensive. And Tokusen Kohshiboku was one of the most expensive incenses he owned. 

But that was the only way to keep mushi at bay. 

Naruto retrieved the incense burner from the case, and took a stick of Tokusen Kohshiboku, as Kurama had instructed. He lit the stick, and sat to start meditating. Breathing in and out, he let his senses dull out and entered a peaceful state. 

Half an hour later, he emerged from his meditation and swore as he remembered his ramen. He hated soggy noodles, but it would have to do. 

  
Naruto woke up late for his first day of classes. He would have to bike fast, and he would probably be drenched in sweat by the time he made it on campus. Swearing profusely, he got ready in less than a minute. He exited his room in a rush, crashing hard into something solid as he did.

He growled in pain as the person he’d just bumped into elbowed him to make him back off. 

« Ouch, » Naruto said. He looked at the person he’d run into and was faced by a familiar glare he hadn’t seen in years.

« I’m so sorry! » Naruto said. The other didn’t say anything and left him there.

He was already gone when Naruto realised he’d recognised that glare. Maybe he’d been wrong… The person had been wearing a cap and a mask. What were the odds of running into the one person he’d been looking for all these years?

« _Stop fantasising, brat, you’re already late to class_. »

Shit, Kurama was right! He’d have to think about that later. 

  
Naruto had only been five minutes late to his first lecture. Not too bad, considering his history of being consistently late for the past 18 years of his life. He’d been lucky enough to find the classroom fast enough, as he’d soon realised the classroom numbering made no sense. Neither did the buildings numbering. He’d have to get used to it, eventually.

He stretched his arms above his head with a yawn and picked up the university map. He had a meeting with his supervisor and the other students who had the same supervisor, and then he’d get to go home. Kurama was more present at the back of his mind, which meant he really needed to burn some incense and do some meditation. Hopefully, it could wait a few more hours.

Naruto had to admit he was nervous. He had only talked with his supervisor by email, and he was a bit intimidated. He’d also meet other students, hopefully it’d be alright.

Naruto made it to the Engineering Building 14, and went to the 8th floor. He found the meeting room at the end of the corridor, and went inside. No one was there. He checked his watch, he was two minutes late. Frowning slightly, he sat down on one of the chairs.

Five minutes later, he was still alone and getting slightly worried he was in the wrong place.

Eight minutes later, and someone else arrived –a woman, around his age, with pink hair. That was quite uncommon, women from Todai were said to be no fun. Although that was very likely just a sexist cliché, as women who made it to the top university in Asia _had_ to be said to have some unforgiving flaws, to make up for the fact they had succeeded where so many people failed. 

She was quite short but muscular, and had a determined look on her face. Naruto mentally put her in the « not to fuck with » category.

She looked surprised when she spotted Naruto. She bowed slightly and sat not too far from him.

And then Sasuke Uchiha came in.

His only friend through middle and high school, the one person he’d kept fighting with, the one person he could never give up on. 

The one person who’d told him to go away from him, after they’d spent hours, days, weeks cramming together, and just spending time together, his best and admittedly only friend, the one person who might or might not have accidentally almost murdered him and who’d then disappeared. 

The one person he still though about every day, the one person he’d swore he’d never forget, no matter what, the one person for whom he’d even bothered with going to university at all. 

Sasuke fucking Uchiha sat opposite from him in the U-shape tables, allowing Naruto to stare at him all he wanted.

« _Calm down_ , » Kurama growled. 

Right, now was not the time. He’d go through this lab meeting, and he’d deal with this mess afterwards.

Half an hour after the designated time for the lab meeting, Kakashi Hatake walked in. 

« Everyone is already here? » Their sensei said, sounding surprised. 

Naruto growled and bit down an angry answer. No need to antagonise his sensei on the first day. Pink Hair didn’t seem to have such reservation.

She smiled, a killer smile, and said sweetly « Well, it isn’t that surprising, considering the meeting was meant to start half an hour ago, sensei. » 

Well, she was ballsy. 

« I’m sorry, I had to rescue a cat on my way here, » their sensei answered with what Naruto assumed was a shit eating smile.

There were no cats on campus, and their sensei had probably been on campus before this meeting. Naruto could then only assume that their sensei was full of shit. Great. 

Naruto allowed himself to take a good look at his new supervisor. 

Their sensei had spiky grey hair, although he didn’t look that old. He was lean and kind of tall. The most striking thing about him though, was how little of his face was visible. He was wearing a black headband that also covered his left eye. A black mask covered the lower part of his face, nose included. 

As no one answered his blatant lie, their sensei smiled again, albeit more genuinely. 

« My name is Hatake Kakashi. You may call me Kakashi. I’m here to help you get your masters degree, and to guide you during your research for you masters thesis. For further references, our group will be referred as Team 7 in all lab communications, so please pay attention to that. »

« Concerning me as a person… Well, I have many hobbies, none of which you need to know. Pleased to meet you three. Now please introduce yourself briefly. » 

Their sensei was definitely… weird.

Pink Hair went first. « My name is Haruno Sakura. I’m 22, I’m from Sapporo. I joined Todai after high school. I like plants, and I study traditional medicine as a hobby. Pleased to meet you. » 

Naruto gathered as much enthusiasm as he could. « My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I’m from a small town you’ve probably never heard of, in Fukushima prefecture! I love ramen, and hiking in the mountains. I did my bachelor degree at Yamagata University, in Yamagata prefecture. Pleased to meet you. » 

And now it was Sasuke’s turn. But his former friend only nodded once at Kakashi, and that was it.

« And you must be Sasuke Uchiha. » Kakashi-sensei said, concluding the introductions. He didn’t seem fazed by Sasuke’s weird silence at all. 

« We will meet once every week, in this room. There is a general lab meeting every week, and you’re expected to attend, unless you tell me you won’t come in advance. You better have a good excuse if you decide not to show up, though. » 

Kakashi-sensei was nonchalant, but he seemed competent enough. Naruto could deal with that.

« Please feel free to contact me by email if you have any questions or issues. You’ll have to present your work twice a semester to the rest of the lab, but we’ll prepare the presentations together. Since we’re not an experimental science lab, you don’t have to work in the lab if you’d rather work at home, but a desk is assigned to each student. »

At that, he pulled his phone to show them the seats arrangement. 

« Let me know if you have a problem with that. Please go to the students room of the lab after this meeting, Sai should be there. He’s the lab coordinator, he’ll add you to the students’ Line group chat, and will give you a key to the lab. » 

Kakashi-sensei paused and scratched his head.

« I don’t think I forgot anything. Here’s my Line ID and my phone number, don’t hesitate to contact me in case of emergency. » 

The three of them added the new contact to their phones. Maybe Naruto would ask Kakashi-sensei if he could put him as his emergency contact in Tokyo. He’d have to see if their sensei was reliable enough. 

« Alright, that’s it for today! » Kakashi-sensei said cheerfully. « I consider bonding very important, and the four of us are now a team. I’ll contact you soon to let you know about activities we should do together. See you around! » 

And then they were alone. « Let’s go see this Sai guy, » Naruto said. Haruno nodded and they went. 

On the way to the elevator, Haruno kept trying to talk to Sasuke, ignoring Naruto completely, but the other didn’t say anything except from a grumpy « Hn» from times to times. Naruto couldn’t help but glance at him from time to time. What was wrong with him? Had his time here in Tokyo made him even more of an asshole? Naruto couldn’t believe he’d just… found Sasuke. He was half-convinced it was a hallucination, or a dream, and that he’d wake up, alone as always. He couldn’t process the fact that Sasuke was just there, that they were just taking the elevator as if nothing had happened, as if they didn’t know each other. 

« _His aura is… disturbed,_ » Kurama said. Naruto relaxed, mentally closing his first eyelid to see what the Fox was talking about. And indeed, where Haruno’s energy was flowing freely through her chakra pathways, Sasuke’s energy was contaminated by a weird energy, that seemed to take root in the right side of his neck. The weird energy spread through his shoulder and seemed to focus in his throat. 

Realisation dawned on Naruto, as he got a better feel of the kind of energy it was. Sasuke had been infected by a mushi. And it prevented him from talking. Why Naruto hadn’t been able to spot the mushi before closing his first eyelid, he wasn’t sure, but he’ll figure it out.

As they got in the elevator, Naruto couldn’t help but wonder. Why hadn’t Sasuke contacted him? He knew, better than anyone, what Naruto was, and what he could do. This made no sense. 

Haruno’s voice interrupted his train of thoughts. 

« What about you, Uzumaki? What’s your opinion on our sensei? » 

They were alone in the elevator, so now was a good time as ever to discuss the topic.

Naruto scratched his head. « He seems… decent enough. Full of shit, but hopefully he won’t be completely useless. »

« He better not! He had the gall to show up half an hour late though. He better not be late again, » she said angrily. For their sensei’s sake, Naruto did hope he wouldn’t show up late. 

They went out of the elevator and made their way to their lab’s students room. A man with a creepy fake smile greeted them. 

« Hello, my name is Sai. You must be Kakashi-sensei’s students. Pleased to meet you. » 

Sai was around his height, with pale skin and soft looking black hair. He had a nice figure, he was gorgeous even, and his outfit was quite ordinary, something that made him blend in somehow. 

Regardless of his good looks, Naruto couldn’t help but distrust the man. There was something off about him.

Naruto and Haruno introduced themselves once again, and Naruto took it upon himself to introduce Sasuke. 

« Kakashi-sensei told us you’re the lab coordinator. Are you a M2 student? » Haruno asked. 

« Yes. Let me add you to the common group chat. » 

His gaze went to Sasuke with an intensity Naruto didn’t like. He stepped forward slightly, bringing Sai’s attention to him. 

Sai’s eyes were so dark, you could probably drown in them. There was no warmness in them, but there was no coldness either. They were just blank. 

« _Something happened to him_ , » Kurama said, and Naruto could only agree. Having so little emotions could not be natural. 

« Feel free to hit me up if you need anything, » Sai said with his fake smile, looking only at Naruto. 

« He’s weird, » Naruto whispered to Haruno as soon as they were far enough in the room that the creepy man couldn’t hear them. Haruno nodded at that. Sasuke didn’t react and pulled out his phone, effectively ignoring the whole conversation. 

« Definitely. His smile gave me the creeps. He’s got a reputation, but it’s the first time I see him up close, » she answered.

A reputation? Naruto couldn’t help but feel sympathy for Sai at that. He’d had a reputation too. His mood soured considerably as he asked Haruno for some details. 

Apparently, Sai had had a dark past. Some people said he was an orphan who’d been raised in a devious sect that had now been dissolved. Others said he’d been in a toxic relationship that had made him unable to ever trust human beings again. Crazier theories said he’d been raised by tanuki. 

Naruto couldn’t help but scorn these rumours. They made little sense and were probably far from the truth. 

« Anyways. He’s apparently rejected countless confessions. He has no friends whatsoever. He may be hot, but he’s the definition of asocial. I’ve heard he’s super rude too, he called one of my friends who confessed to him « ugly »… What an asshole! » 

« You shouldn’t believe everything people say, » Naruto answered. Haruno seemed the decent sort, but he couldn’t help but think she’d have avoided him like everyone else, if they’d met in his hometown. 

« Sometimes, people are just afraid of what they don’t know. Or they feel bitter because they want to know secrets that are none of them business, » he continued. This whole conversation was tiring him. 

« How wise of you, Uzumaki. For someone who didn’t make it here for their bachelors degree, you don’t seem to be completely brainless, » Sai said, appearing behind him and startling Haruno and Naruto both. 

It was unclear how much of the conversation he’d heard, but what worried Naruto was how Sai had managed to sneak up on him. Kurama growled at Sai, and Naruto could have sworn Sai’s smile looked even tighter at that. 

… Wait, had he called him brainless? Naruto’s temper flared, and there was a smirk on Sai’s face when he noticed, yet he deliberately turned to Sakura, cutting Naruto from the conversation. What a prick! 

Haruno was about to apologise, and Sai cut her to it. « I know what people say about me. Other people’s opinions don’t matter to me, though. » 

Haruno still looked sheepish as Sai gave them a key to the room each. 

Naruto looked Sai in the eyes and said « See you around, Sai. »

Sai smirked again, and it looked slightly more genuine this time. Naruto still counted that as a win.

Some peace at last. Naruto was back in his room. As it turned out, Naruto, Haruno and Sasuke lived in the same dorms. Naruto had gone back alone, though. He was the only one bothering with the 40 minutes of biking, the others took the metro. He’d added Sakura to his contacts before they had parted ways, and Sasuke hadn’t even looked in his direction once. 

Naruto lit some Kohen incense and sat down to meditate on his mat. The day had been emotionally taxing, he needed to clear his mind or he’d become vulnerable to mushi. He felt like he was on the verge of a breakdown, the sorts that hadn’t happened in a while. He breathed in, and out, and suddenly he was face to face with Kurama in their true form.

« _You haven’t talked to me like that in a while,_ » Naruto observed, nonplussed. 

« _The situation hadn’t required it. You’re doing an OK job as a mushishi now_. » 

Kurama was a gigantic mushi of orange, spiralling energy. When he’d first consciously interacted with them, Naruto had felt nothing but rage, contempt and hatred emanate from the fox-like beast. Now Kurama was much more peaceful, which was for the best as Naruto was stuck with them. 

Naruto stepped towards the mushi, and slowly reached out to ruffle their fur. It was deep and soft and Naruto allowed himself to lean against Kurama. 

« _Today was such a weird day, though. After all these years, seeing Sasuke still hurts as if he’s left yesterday._ » 

Naruto teared up as he thought about their interactions earlier, or rather, their lack of thereof. 

« _He won’t even look at me! What an asshole._ » 

« _You’ve always been good at making him look, even when he doesn’t want to. So make him. If that’s what you want._ » 

Naruto took some time to consider that. He didn’t want to lose Sasuke again, but he was pretty sure he didn’t mean anything to the other anymore. It seemed clear, Sasuke hadn’t even contacted him when he was clearly contaminated by a mushi.

When he took too long to answer, Kurama spoke again. 

« _What about the mushi that has infected him? Will you treat him?_ » 

« _Well, I have to! I can’t let a mushi contaminate someone and not do anything about it! For all we know, it could be contagious. Or kill him._ » 

« _Then do something about it._ » 

Kurama allowed him a few more minutes of relaxation in their fur, before they kicked him out of their mushi plane, wherever that was, and Naruto came to in his body. 

What a shit day. And it was only Thursday. Thankfully, he didn’t have any classes on Fridays, which meant it was time to go see what the Tokyo nightlife was about. He couldn’t think about Sasuke, not yet. He wasn’t ready to face the fact that he’d actually found him, so he wouldn’t for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me a comment if you liked this chapter :)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/blackmo0nie)  
> [tumblr](http://scurrile-histrion.tumblr.com)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/blackmo0nie)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto tries to blow off some steam

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We find out more about mushi! Part of one dialogue is from the Mushishi anime, which I can't recommend enough ^^
> 
> Todai 東大(for Tokyo Daigaku 東京大学) is the nickname given to the University of Tokyo in Japanese, since the full name is a bit long. I realised I forgot to clarify that in the notes of the last chapter!  
> The title of this fic is from a song from DPR Live. I like it a lot, and I started writing the first chapter listening to it.  
> Also, for those who’ve watched / read mushishi, I couldn’t really picture Naruto smoking (especially considering how smoking is frowned upon in Japan), so I thought incense would do instead!  
> And finally, something I also forgot to mention in the last chapter, Line is the most commonly used social networks amongst young people in Japan to communicate. It has really cute emojis and stickers, and you can do quite a lot with it.
> 
> SAFE SEX IS IMPORTANT do not take a fanfiction for reference use protection even for oral sex, especially if it’s with a new partner. There is a bit of smut here, involving Naruto and someone else, and if you don’t want to read, scroll after you see *** *** and start reading again when you see *** *** once more. This is a Sasuke/Naruto fanfiction, but it’ll also be a long ass ride (I didn’t tag slow burn for nothing), and so this chapter happened. Also it’s my first time writing smut… But I’m satisfied I think? Let me know how it is~
> 
> Hm also I decided that Kurama’s pronouns in this fic would be they/them, because I don’t see why not

Naruto had never thought he would be one to go clubbing. But at night, no one seemed to recognise or despise him, they didn’t give the markings on his face much thought, and he could find someone to have some fun with for the night. He didn’t indulge very often, it was a bit of a waste of money, but it was nice from time to time. It had been a while since he’d gone out too, and he felt like it now. He wasn’t too tight on money for now, he might as well enjoy it.

He took his favourite black fishnet top from his drawers, the cropped one with a mock collar that let his tattoos on full display. Then he put on his tightest black jeans, which made his butt look amazing. He added the orange jacket he wore everyday and his favourite orange sneakers to the outfit, and he was ready to go. 

This time he didn’t run into anyone as he left his room, but just as he went by the showers, a door opened ahead of him and Sasuke fucking Uchiha exited a shower block. He only had a small towel around his waist, which did nothing to hide how toned he’d got. 

« You! You exhibitionist! Can’t you be decent, jeez! » Naruto spluttered. 

« _Smooth, brat_ , » Kurama said with a decent amount of sarcasm. 

Judging by the way Sasuke raised an eyebrow, he was thinking something similar. 

Then Sasuke gestured to his outfit, as if to ask was that was all about.

« I’m going clubbing. Not that it’s any of your business. » Naruto said.

Sasuke huffed at that and went to go past Naruto, but the latter stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

« Wait. Shouldn’t we talk about your throat? What’s going on, Sasuke? »

Sasuke shrugged him off and went back to his room before Naruto could do anything. Naruto sighed as he heard the lock fall into place.

« What an asshole… » 

The Annex was a small gay club located in Shinjuku. It was the first time Naruto went there, but he knew he’d go back. The music was good, there weren’t too many people, and the alcohol was cheap enough. Naruto was blowing off some steam at last, and trying his best not to think about Sasuke. 

For these kinds of nights, Kurama left him alone. They probably didn’t want to have to endure whatever Naruto would be up to. That was fine by Naruto, having someone comment on everything he did could be unnerving at times. 

He’d been dancing and having fun for an hour or so when he spotted a familiar face next to the bar.

« Sai! » He said, probably a bit too loudly. Naruto was a light weight, and he’d drunk enough that he felt nicely loose.

« Uzumaki. What an unexpected surprise, » Sai said with his fake smile. 

For some reason, it grated on Naruto’s nerves more than it should have. He was about to snap at the other when he noticed his outfit. 

Sai was wearing a black fitting crop top, with flattering black trousers. He had black platform boots on, making him a bit taller than Naruto. Sai inclined his head, looking pensive, and Naruto could only stare at the eyeliner he was wearing. Naruto swallowed. He wanted to punch the other in the face. Or kiss him, just to let out a bit of his frustration. That was a terrible idea, Naruto knew as much. He was emotionally distressed, which made him prone to have the worst ideas.

Unfortunately for him, Naruto had never been very good when it came to not listening to his worst ideas. 

« Wanna dance? » Naruto asked bluntly. Sai gave him a knowing smile before nodding, and they made their way to the dance floor. 

Naruto started moving, and surprisingly or not, Sai seemed to know how to dance too. He moved closer to Naruto, and Naruto instinctively put his hands on the other’s hips. He blushed as he realised what he’d done, and blushed some more when that only made Sai move closer. They were still dancing, and Sai’s hips kept brushing his own.

  
Sai was hot and Naruto knew doing anything with someone from his lab was the worst idea ever but dammit, Naruto wanted nothing but to take this elsewhere with Sai. He still found the other suspicious as fuck, yet he couldn’t help but want him at that moment. It was the frustration, he told himself. 

Sai seemed to sense Naruto’s distraction, as he inched even closer, and asked him in his ear if he wanted to go outside for a bit. 

Naruto could only nod. They made their way outside the club as Naruto tried to remember how to think with his brain and not his dick. 

« How drunk are you? » He heard Sai ask.

« I’m only tipsy, » Naruto answered truthfully. 

Sai hummed at that, but otherwise said nothing as they walked outside. The cool night air felt nice against Naruto’s skin, and Naruto felt himself smiling for no reason. It was nice, being out like that and not having to think about his problems for a while. His good mood started to sour when he remembered the cause of said problems, namely one Sasuke Uchiha, but he forced himself to push that thought out of his mind. 

« Where are we heading? » He asked eventually. 

Sai said nothing but stopped in front of an apartment building. 

« This is my place. Are we doing this or not? » 

Naruto was momentarily speechless. Was Sai asking him what he thought he was asking him? 

« You mean… » Naruto started. He wasn’t sure how to end that sentence, and was glad the night was hiding his blush. 

« Ah, maybe you are brainless after all. Or was I mistaking when I thought you were enjoying that earlier? »

Naruto blushed harder at that, but it seemed Sai didn’t want to torture him too much, as he continued. 

« Are you coming in? »

Naruto spluttered as he agreed, and Sai almost smiled at that, although it was most definitely a mocking smile. They were silent as they made their way to the elevator.

« You know, you don’t have to pretend. The whole smiling thing. It’s OK if you don’t want to smile at me, » Naruto found himself saying in the elevator.

Sai glanced at him. « I read it made people feel more comfortable. » 

« I’m just saying. You don’t have to force yourself to smile if you don’t wanna. » 

Sai seemed to consider that before nodding. 

Sai’s place wasn’t too small, for an apartment in Tokyo. Although it looked impersonal and not lived in at all, Naruto couldn’t help but think. 

They both removed their shoes, and then they were facing each other with minimal distance between them. 

Naruto took Sai by the hips and pulled him closer. 

« Is that OK with you? » he asked softly. 

Sai looked him dead in the eyes, then kissed him briefly on the lips, before pulling back slightly. 

« Your lips are chapped, » Sai said.

Naruto laughed at that. Sai _was_ kind of rude, but Naruto had had people be truly mean to him. This was just bluntness, without that much ill intent, and he found himself almost enjoying it.

« Well, are you going to show me your place, or are we just gonna stand here all night? » Naruto said with a small grin.

Sai sighed but obliged. « There isn’t much to see. This is the kitchen, which is also the living room, which is also my bedroom. The door there is the bathroom », he said, gesturing to a door on his right. 

Naruto laughed again. « Eager much? That’s the shortest description I’ve ever heard of anyone’s home. » 

Sai looked quizzically at Naruto. « It’s just an apartment, » he said. 

OK, now that was depressing. Yet it was also painfully understandable. But Naruto didn’t want to think about that now, about how it felt like to live in a place but to never have a home, so he pulled Sai by the hips again, and this time, he didn’t hesitate to kiss him. 

Sai was a skilled kisser, albeit a not very expressive one.

Naruto pushed Sai towards the bed, and sat on the other’s laps. 

« Do you actually want to do this? » Naruto asked. He didn’t feel like Sai was forcing himself. It merely felt as though he didn’t care, or he was just doing it for the sake of doing it and not because he actually wanted to.

« I was told having sex would make me more pleasant, so I am quite curious, » the other admitted.

There was a lot to unpack in that statement. Naruto was too tired to think properly, though, so he focused on the more urgent part.

« But do you actually want to have sex with me? You could wait to be in a relationship, or have sex with someone you actually trust. » 

Sai looked at him quizzically again. « I don’t trust anyone. And I’m not interested in relationships at all. » 

Naruto wasn’t sure this was a good idea. « So, to you, this would just be an experiment, right? » 

Sai replied by the affirmative. 

What kind of mess had Naruto gotten into again?

Naruto sighed and retrieve a folded paper from his wallet. « Just to show you I’m safe, » he said, scratching his head with one hand and showing the test results with the other. This always felt awkward but it was necessary. 

Sai showed him the same paper, surprisingly. « I read a book about sex, they said this was important, » Sai said. Naruto didn’t want to know what kind of books the other read in his spare time.

*** ***

« What did you have in mind? » He asked.

« I’m open to try anything, » Sai answered with a blank expression. Naruto really couldn’t get a read on the guy.

« Is it fine if I take the lead then? We can try things, and you tell me whether you like it or not. Tell me to stop if you don’t. » 

Sai nodded and Naruto kissed him again. Then he got up, pushed Sai gently so that he would lie down properly, and kissed him again. 

Naruto moved to Sai’s neck, and nipped at the skin with his teeth. Sai let out a startled moan that went straight to Naruto’s cock. He could work with that. 

Naruto spent some more time on Sai’s neck before gesturing to the other to remove his jacket and his top. 

That’s when Naruto noticed the tattoos. A snake spiralled around Sai’s right arm, with its head on his forearm. There was also fire and what looked like an ancient seal on his shoulder. It was as beautiful as it was surprising. Most people didn’t have tattoos, it was still something of a taboo. Sai said nothing as Naruto ran a finger along the dark lines. He looked at Sai’s face again. The other was flushed and his eyes looked even darker with his dilated pupils. 

« Is this OK? » Naruto asked in a low voice. 

Sai blinked slowly then nodded. Naruto moved to his nipples and took one his them between his teeth, applying gentle pressure. Sai moaned properly at that.

« You’re so fucking sensitive, » Naruto said. Sai tried to answer, but Naruto pinched his other nipple and the answer was lost in his moan. 

Naruto trailed kisses down the other’s stomach, and settled between his legs. Sai was more than half hard, and Naruto couldn’t help but smirk. He kissed the bulge and was gratified by a shuddering breath from the other.

« Can you take off your trousers? » Naruto asked. 

Sai sounded slightly winded as he said yes, but much less so than Naruto would have thought. 

Sai helped him remove his trousers, and then he was in nothing but his underwear. Naruto bit his thigh gently. He took his time kissing, licking and biting both his thighs before he moved to Sai’s boxers. He palmed the obvious erection, making Sai arch his back. 

« Can I…? » Naruto asked, gesturing at Sai’s boxers. Sai removed them for him, revealing his now fully erect cock. 

Naruto pumped it lazily, taking some time to look at Sai’s flushed face. Then he took his cock in his mouth, eliciting a deep moan from Sai. He worked it for a few minutes, before letting go of it completely. Sai opened his eyes and looked at him.

« I know it’s your first time, but do you want to come in me? » 

Sai’s dick twitched at that. Sai narrowed his eyes before nodding once. 

Naruto retrieved the small bottle of lube he had in his back pocket, before undressing completely. 

« You’re staring, » he told Sai, because he was. 

« It’s the first time I see someone else naked from this close, » the other said. 

« Do you like what you see? » Naruto asked smugly. He had a nice body, he knew as much. 

« You’re adequate, » was Sai’s obnoxious answer. Naruto laughed at the prick’s answer. 

« Have you ever fingered yourself? » He asked Sai with some curiosity.

He had not, so Naruto took some time to explain to him how to do it. He was two fingers in when Sai stopped his hand. 

« Can I try? » he said, his face completely blank. 

It was kinda hot that Sai managed to stay that composed when his dick looked painfully hard. Naruto nodded once. Sai sat up and took the bottle of lube. He warmed some in his hands before coating his fingers. Naruto removed his fingers, and Sai replaced them with two of his own. 

« Why do you smell like incense? » Sai asked. 

Naruto tried to answer, but Sai started pushing a third finger past his rim. Naruto whimpered as Sai pushed it slowly alongside the two others. Naruto told him he could crook his fingers a bit, and after a while Sai did. 

Naruto was moaning and sweating and everything was a bit overwhelming. He hadn’t bottomed in a while. Then Sai’s fingers brushed his prostate, and he couldn’t help the small scream that escaped his lips. Sai, the prick, raised an eyebrow at that and did the same move with his fingers, hitting his prostate again. 

« I think I’m ready », Naruto said between two thrusts, as he didn’t want to come before Sai. 

« I’ll ride you, if that’s fine with you. » 

Sai nodded before lying down again. Naruto aligned Sai’s length with his hole, and sank down slowly. It hurt a bit, and Naruto was overwhelmed by how full he felt. Eventually, he took the whole length in, and let out a shuddering breath. 

« It’s… very tight and warm, » Sai said breathily. Naruto was satisfied with how wrecked he was started to sound. He clutched his hole around Sai, and the latter moaned deeply. 

  
Then Naruto started moving, and Sai stopped talking at all. Naruto slowly rocked his hips, letting his body adjust to the intrusion. Eventually, he picked up some rhythm, bouncing on Sai’s laps. The other was doing his best to meet his moves. 

Sai was beautiful like this: sweat gathering on his cupid arc, cheeks flushed, silky hair sticking to his forehead. He looked wrecked and Naruto was enjoying the sight. 

Naruto let out a small scream as Sai’s length hit his prostate. Sai took him by the hips and pushed him deeper on his cock. Fuck, this was too good. 

« I’m… close, » Naruto managed to say through his moans. 

Sai released the tight grip he had on Naruto’s hips and started pumping the other’s cock. Naruto’s moves were getting more and more hectic. He whimpered when Sai let go of his cock to hold on tight on his hips again. Sai came in Naruto, biting his lips hard in a futile attempt to prevent a loud moan from escaping his lips. Naruto pumped his cock a couple more times and then he was coming hard on the other’s stomach. 

They were both out of breath. Naruto slowly pulled out and let himself fall next to Sai.

« For such a weird hook-up, it was probably one of the best times I’ve ever had, » Naruto admitted after a while. 

Sai hummed before groaning. « Sex is better than I expected, but I’ll have to wash my sheets tomorrow. That’s annoying. » 

Naruto laughed weakly. Then he turned to look at Sai. « Proper top etiquette is to clean up your bottom afterwards, » he said very seriously. 

Sai eyed him suspiciously, then he shrugged and got up. He went to the bathroom and came back with a small wet towel. He tossed it at Naruto.

« Can I stay the night? » Naruto asked after having cleaned himself. He felt too lazy to go back now, and it was probably way past midnight, meaning he would have to walk home. The few times he’d hooked up with someone, he’d never stayed afterwards, but then again, he’d never hooked up with someone he knew.

« I guess, » was Sai’s unenthusiastic answer. 

Naruto fell asleep immediately. 

  
  
*** ***

Naruto woke up to the light sound of a brush on paper. He rolled slowly to face the sound and groggily opened his eyes. There was Sai, sat on a chair, looking at him. 

« Morning, » Naruto said sleepily, « what are you doing? » 

« I’m drawing you. I don’t usually get to draw people sleeping. » 

Naruto blinked but didn’t answer. He wasn’t quite awake enough to think. 

« What time is it? » He asked after a while.

« Half past eight. » Sai closed his sketchbook quietly before he went on. 

« You drool in your sleep. I’ve also heard that people sometimes cuddle in their sleep, but what you did was probably closer to an anaconda trying to slowly dismember someone. » 

Naruto blinked at Sai. The other didn’t look too mad, but Naruto apologised sheepishly nonetheless. 

« Do you want coffee? Tea? » Sai asked, getting up from his chair. 

« Coffee please. » 

Naruto retrieved his clothes, which had been dismissed on the floor, and joined Sai in the kitchenette. 

He gratefully accepted the steaming mug of coffee from Sai’s hands, and took some time to enjoy the strong smell. The atmosphere wasn’t quite awkward, but Naruto was still unnerved by Sai.

« You never answered my question last night, » Sai said after a while. Naruto had no idea what he was talking about.

« Why you smell like incense, » Sai clarified, when he didn’t get any answer.

Oh. That question. Naruto considered his option. He could say he enjoyed the smell and meditated a lot, which wasn’t that weird, and was mostly true. Or he could tell him about the mushi, and risk Sai being weirded out or worse. 

Sai didn’t seem like the kind to be weirded out, though. If anything, he probably would just be curious and a bit rude about it, so Naruto decided to tell the truth.

« Do you know what mushi are? » he asked.

Sai’s eyes narrowed fractionally, and Naruto probably would have missed it if he weren’t so used to reading people’s reactions. He’d have to investigate about that later.

« I don’t, » Sai said. He was a good liar, Naruto would give him that.

Naruto showed his left hand to Sai.

« If you look at my hand, let’s say these four fingers », he said, gesturing to all his fingers except his thumb, « are animal life. We human beings are here, the tip the middle finger, the farthest point from your heart. When you move towards the palm of your hand, you find the lower forms of animal life, » he said, following the invisible lines of his veins. 

« When you get to your wrist though, that’s where you blood vessels combine into one. This is where you would find fungi, microorganisms. From here, it becomes more and more difficult to distinguish between plants and animals. Even so, » he said, going up his forearm with his thumb, « there is still life beyond this point. And if you keep going, all the way up your arm, past your shoulder, and you get to this point, at the place that’s the closest to the heart, right here, these creatures are the mushi. » 

« They are life at its purest form, » he said with a small smile. 

« Because of their nature, their shapes and physical appearances are ambiguous. Some you can see, some you can’t. It depends on people, too. Most people can’t see any mushi. » 

Naruto paused, waiting for some sort of reaction from Sai. When the other said nothing, he went on. 

« I can see mushi. I always have been able to, for as long as I can remember. And because of that, or for some other reasons, I also attract them, which can be… bothersome. Mushi aren’t bad per se, they’re just trying to survive like we all do. But their presence sometimes disrupt people’s lives, and in that case, I can help. »

« The incense is to keep mushi away. I don’t attract them as much when I meditate regularly as well as burn incense. » 

Naruto clapped his hands and grinned at Sai. 

« Anyways, if you ever have a weird problem, or a phenomenon you can’t explain, it’s probably a mushi! If that ever happens, text me OK? I can probably help. » 

Naruto was even more unnerved, as Sai said nothing and continued to study him. Eventually, he nodded, and it there was almost something nice in his otherwise expressionless face. He hadn’t given Naruto his creepy smile yet, so he’d probably listened to what Naruto had told him in the elevator the night before. 

« Thank you, brainless. » 

« How did you call me you prick?! » Naruto yelled.

« I read that nicknames make people closer. My book said to pick a definite trait in the other person. Is « brainless » not a good nickname, then? »

Naruto was about to strangle Sai. He forced himself to take deep breaths instead. 

« _For a human being, he is extraordinarily bad at social clues_ », Kurama said, with something like a yawn. Naruto felt less unnerved now that the fox-mushi was back. 

Naruto forced a smile and said « An insult is rarely a good nickname, Sai. Just call me Naruto, OK? » 

Sai looked disappointed but agreed easily. They finished their coffees in silence. 

« So… You’re fine with the whole mushi thing? You believe me? I know it sounds weird, the whole thing does, but… » Naruto didn’t know what to think of Sai’s apparent easy acceptance. This had never happened before.

Sai interrupted him. « I believe you. »

« _He’s hiding something,_ » Kurama said. Naruto had to agree, but seeing the cold energy Sai was now projecting, there was no use trying to get anything out of him for now. Naruto let it go for this time.

« I’m so sore, » Naruto complained once they had washed their cups. Sai glanced at him. 

« How was last night for you, by the way? » Naruto asked the other. It had been his first time after all. 

« It was enjoyable. I understand why people like it, although I’m not sure how it would make me more pleasant. »

Naruto sighed. 

« Look, who told you that? That person was probably messing with you. Don’t listen to what other people tell you about sex. If you want to have it, good for you, if you don’t, then that’s it. » 

Sai hummed. « What is the after sex etiquette, when you don’t want a relationship? » 

Naruto had to laugh. « It’s fine. If we were strangers, we could either exchange numbers if you wanted to do this again some day, or just never see each other again. But since we’re bound to meet at the lab at least, let’s be friends, OK? I don’t do relationships either… And I’m not sure I want to do that again, » Naruto said, gesturing to the bed. 

Sai eyed him. « Did you not have a good time? » he asked curiously.

« I did! I just don’t think it would be a good idea to do it again, if neither of us want to date. So… Would it be fine to be friends? » Naruto said in a rush. 

« _Kid, this is the most awkward conversation you’ve ever made me suffer through_ , » Kurama said with a growl. 

« I know! » Naruto thought back desperately. 

As good as last night had been, it couldn’t happen again. Hooking up with someone from the lab hadn’t been his brightest idea, but with Sai, it would probably be fine. 

« I don’t have friends, » Sai said.

Could this get any more awkward? Sai seemed to think some more before he added. « I’m curious, though. Let’s try this friendship thing. »

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [This](https://jammedink.tumblr.com/post/179139674239/a-modern-goth-naruto-to-match-the-soosk) is what I had in mind for Naruto’s outfit!  
> I love Sai, and we’ll probably see more of him in the future ^^ His tattoos are inspired by [this beautiful piece of art](https://www.deviantart.com/mizuki-cho/art/Naruto-OC-Sai-Kiddo-776243809). 
> 
> Next chapter, Naruto finally deals with his emotions and confronts Sasuke! Please look forward to that :)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/blackmo0nie)  
> [tumblr](http://scurrile-histrion.tumblr.com)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/blackmo0nie)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto confronts Sasuke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of feelings in this chapter! Next chapter will be more plot-driven. We get a bit of Sasuke’s point of view at the end of this chapter. He’s hard to write ;(

Naruto was lying on his bed, thinking about his life decisions. Everything felt complicated, and Sasuke was omnipresent in his mind. The night prior and even the weird morning with Sai had felt like a break of sorts, but now Naruto was alone with his mind and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. 

« _Stop thinking so hard, kid, you’re going to hurt yourself. Meditate, calm your thoughts, and take the time to analyse your feelings_ , » Kurama said. 

Right. He could do that. He could function properly. 

Naruto stood up, lit some incense, then sat down on his bed. He calmed his breathing, focusing on the air going in and out of his lungs, on the rhythm of his heart. He slowly synchronised his energy with the natural energy around him, feeling its pulse run in his veins. 

So what was he feeling? He was hurt, still, by Sasuke’s actions in high school. He was confused, too, by Sasuke’s reactions to him now. Sasuke had told him he had to leave, that his burden was his to bear, and that he couldn’t let Naruto follow him for that reason. That was also after he’d tried to take his mushishi abilities, almost killing him in the process, which required some consideration as well. 

But Sasuke hadn’t killed him in the end. He could have, if he’d gone through with the process, but he hadn’t. In any case, Naruto had taken Sasuke’s departure harder than the attempt on his life. Sasuke had left him behind, and Naruto still hurt because of that.

And what about now? Naruto missed Sasuke. He felt betrayed, but more than that he missed his best friend. Even through the hurt, he cared about Sasuke in ways he’d never fully comprehended. 

From that, it was easy to set his priorities. First, try to find out more about Sasuke and the mushi. Second, make the asshole talk to him, like properly talk, about him, about them, about the fuck he thought he was doing. Third, kick the motherfucker’s ass for being an obtuse idiot. 

Naruto was about to leave his meditation state when the thought of Sai came to him. Right, he probably ought to address that as well.

He didn’t trust Sai, that was a given. He was a prick who didn’t seem to have any social skills, although his company wasn’t the worst. They had had sex, but it had seemed to mean as little to Sai as it did to Naruto. Then there were his secrets… He was hiding something mushi-related, which could prove itself dangerous in the future. Naruto would have to find out more. And Kurama and him had agreed that something had happened to him, but if it didn’t involve a mushi, then it was none of their business.

Sai had agreed to become friends, and Naruto genuinely thought it could be somehow fun. Sasuke was and always would be his first priority, though. 

Naruto decided to take a short nap before he tried to confront the asshole. He’d need all the energy he could get. He wanted to call Iruka, too, but he decided he’d do that after confronting Sasuke. He’d probably need some comfort.

He emerged half an hour later and got up with a groan. 

He could do this. They were both fully grown adults, and as much as they’d liked to bicker in the past, now was not the time for that. 

He left his room and knocked on Sasuke’s door before he could second-guess himself. 

Now he was truly nervous. His hands were getting clammy. Maybe Sasuke wasn’t here? Maybe this was a terrible idea? Naruto was about to turn around when the door opened. He was faced by Sasuke, in a loose soft purple shirt on loose black pants, with glasses that made him look like a dork. 

Naruto’s heart hurt at the sight, at how much he’d missed having casual moments with Sasuke. He composed himself, though, and asked if he could come in with a voice that didn’t sound too uneven. 

Sasuke sighed, looking resigned, and gestured at Naruto to come in. 

Sasuke’s room wasn’t decorated at all, except for a picture of him and his family. Naruto knew this picture well. He didn’t now the Sasuke he was facing, though. 

Sasuke took his glasses off and sat on the bed, and gestured at Naruto to sit on the desk chair. There was some tension in the air, but it wasn’t as uncomfortable as Naruto’d expected. It was just… charged.

« I’ve missed you, » Naruto said softly, facing the window. He saw Sasuke tense in his peripheral vision. 

« And I know you can’t talk, » Naruto continued, with more assurance this time, gesturing to the other’s throat. « Why didn’t you come to me? Why didn’t you say anything? » 

Sasuke stayed without moving for a while, probably thinking on the best thing to say. 

There was no manual on how to deal with your former best friend whom you’d ditched more than four years ago and whom you may or may not have tried to kill as well, and that probably explained why it took so long for Sasuke to react at all. 

He reached for his phone, and began typing. After a while, he passed the phone to Naruto. Naruto started reading.

« Do you remember our second to last year of high school, when I was approached by Orochimaru? He said he could help me get strong enough to kill the mushi that possessed my brother and murdered my family. 

He said he could help me find my brother, too. 

So I followed him, did everything he told me to. It was the summer before our last year of high school, then. He told me that to get the power I needed, I’d have to kill the person I loved the most, and I’d have to kill a mushishi. The first one, to free myself from any bonds, the second, to get mushishi abilities. 

At least, for me, it was the same person. 

Then what happened happened. I tried to take your powers, and although I didn’t in the end, I almost killed you. 

And I left you, and, later, I ran away from Orochimaru too. I’d made some friends, being tutored by that psycho, and they took me in. The year after, I made it into Todai, and I’ve kept gathering information and intel on mushi since.

You must hate me. For what I did to you, for disappearing, for everything. 

But I have to find that mushi, and my brother. I have to bring justice to my clan, no matter the cost. »

Naruto couldn’t believe what he was reading. It was amazing, that after all these years, Sasuke was still an asshole and still an idiot. 

Naruto locked the phone and tried to remind himself that his first priority was to figure out what was the mushi that had infected Sasuke, and to heal him. Not to beat him up, that would come later.

But Sasuke wouldn’t even look at him. His eyes were fixed on the wall, unmoving. It made Naruto’s blood boil. 

So Naruto did the one thing he was good at and jumped on Sasuke.

« You idiotic asshole! I can’t fucking believe you! What is wrong with you?! » 

Naruto didn’t manage to surprise Sasuke, who dodged him easily. They were in a small room though, and Sasuke didn’t have much room to escape. Naruto landed on the bed, and grabbed Sasuke by the shirt, the other having landed on the desk, and pulled the idiot hard. Sasuke fell on him, just as hard, but Naruto didn’t let go. He put his legs around the other’s hips and his arms around his torso.

« After everything we’ve been through, do you really think I can just accept such a stupid message? You… You asshole! » Sasuke wasn’t trying to escape anymore, but Naruto didn’t relax his tight grip.

« Fuck you! I’m your friend, OK? I’m not going anywhere, there’s no getting rid of me! And fuck you for expecting less of me! » 

Naruto was panting now. Sasuke moved to tap on his arms. Naruto relaxed them so as to let Sasuke grab his phone on the desk.   
  
« I tried to kill you, Naruto. » The message read.

« Yes, we’ve established you’re an idiot. »

Sasuke turned to face Naruto and looked him in the eyes, at last. He was basically sitting on Naruto’s laps, and Naruto felt calmer this close to Sasuke. Sasuke’s energy had always been appeasing to him. Their faces were awfully close too, and Naruto resisted the urge to punch the other in the nose. But Sasuke’s eyes were… sad. And lost. And a bit hopeful? Naruto reached out, and knocked their foreheads together. 

« I’ve missed you… So fucking much… » He whispered. Was he crying? He hoped not. He definitely was. Gods, if Sasuke noticed, he’d never let him live it down. He rubbed his eyes, pulling away. 

Sasuke took the phone again, and showed the screen when he was done typing. 

« How can you want to have anything to do with me after what happened? How can you not think I won’t just leave again? » 

« You idiot! How do I have to tell you this? I’m your friend, and I can help! I've improved a lot, as a mushishi. I'm not the kid I used to be. »

Naruto paused. He _had_ improved a lot. He just had to show Sasuke he could help him.

« You know, » he went on, « I made it into Todai so that I could have a chance to see you… And the gods are with me, I guess, since there are so many faculties and departments and labs but we still made it in the same lab! » 

Naruto was grinning hard, smiling the smile he had for Sasuke only. Sasuke eyes softened, and he knocked him playfully on the arm. 

« … And I’m the idiot. You’re lucky indeed that your plan worked at all, we could have never ran into each other if I’d been on another campus, » he typed on the phone. 

Naruto ignored the message, he was well aware he’d been lucky. 

« Sooo, are you gonna let me help you? With the mushi that’s infected you, and, you know… With your family. » Naruto asked him carefully.

Sasuke sighed, and pulled off his shirt. Naruto tried to stay calm, but he couldn’t believe Sasuke was letting him help at all. 

« You never did tell me how you got that, you know, » Naruto said quietly. 

There were dark markings all over Sasuke’s left shoulder, spreading from his neck to his chest and arm. Naruto looked closer. The markings seemed to originate from a faint bite scar on the side of his neck.

« You were… bitten? » Naruto asked, uncertainty lacing his voice. He’d never heard of a mushi infection coming from a bite. He ran a finger along the scar, making Sasuke shiver. Naruto swallowed. The two of them had always had a weird tension to their relationship, and four years apart hadn’t changed that apparently. 

But Naruto didn’t know where they stood anymore. Sasuke had left him before and admitted he might do it again. Sure, Naruto had missed Sasuke. But he wasn’t sure the feeling was shared, not really. 

He removed his finger from the scar and sighed. Feelings were complicated. Life was complicated.

« I’ll have to look through the archives, I’ve never seen anything like this. What happened anyway? »

« … Orochimaru injected a mushi in my body to make me stronger, before I left, » was Sasuke’s answer.

Now, that was crazy. Insanely dangerous, unheard of, and it didn’t even sound feasible. But one look at Sasuke and Naruto knew it was the truth. Naruto realised then how much of Sasuke’s life was really dictated by his desire to avenge his clan. Sasuke was an Uchiha, they fought mushi when a mushishi couldn’t intervene or when it was already too late. They dedicated their lives to that. That Sasuke had willingly accepted to be injected with a potentially dangerous mushi… He really was willing to give up on everything for his goal.

Or _had been_ wiling to. Since now he was fine with Naruto removing the mushi, his ideals must have changed. 

Kurama had been quiet so far, leaving Naruto alone to deal with Sasuke and Naruto was grateful for the semblance of privacy. At Sasuke’s words, though, Kurama’s rage burst so strongly through their connection that it made him wince. People had experimented on mushi in the past, but never like that. This was dangerous.

« _I’m sorry, Kurama_ , » he told the other, « _I’ll do my best to fix this mess_. » 

« I’ll have to find a way to remove it, it’s already been in your body for too long, » Naruto said, addressing both Kurama and Sasuke. 

Right now, though, Naruto was exhausted. He let himself flop on the bed, his back lying on the width of it. Next to him, Sasuke did the same. It’d been so long since they’d done that. They’d grown a lot since the last time, and it wasn’t that comfortable anymore. Yet Naruto didn’t move. 

After a while, Sasuke turned to face him. Naruto turned as well. They weren’t really close, but Naruto could still study Sasuke’s face. 

His skin was as pale as it’d always been. He had a bit of stubble, which hadn’t been there the day before, and it looked somehow good on him. His face was thinner now, and he had dark rings under his eyes. He looked tired – not the kind of tired you got when you didn’t sleep enough, rather, the existential kind. 

If you knew where to look, if you’d spent years looking at his face, it was easy to see the tells. And Naruto had, and he saw it all. It was in how tight his skin looked. In the way it didn’t glow like it used to. In the way his hair – which was longer now — fell on his face. Sasuke was bone-deep tired, everything about him screamed that his soul was exhausted. 

« Sasuke… » Naruto said quietly. He wondered what Sasuke saw when he looked at him. Could he tell Naruto was tired too? That he’d felt incomplete ever since Sasuke had left? 

Naruto turned back to face the ceiling again, it was safer that way. This was unexplored territory, he wasn’t sure they should venture there. 

But Sasuke, the asshole, didn’t let him. He grabbed him by the arm and pulled. Naruto let himself roll to face him again. Sasuke stared at Naruto’s hair before reaching out. He ruffled it, and Naruto batted his hand away. Sasuke smirked playfully, but then his smile took a gentler air. He took a strand of curly hair between his fingers, and there were too many emotions in his aura for Naruto to decipher. 

« Yeah, I guess I keep my hair shorter now, » Naruto said eventually.

Sasuke arched his eyebrow, as if to ask why.

« I don’t know. After you left… I just didn’t care about much anymore. Shorter hair means less taking care of it, you know? » 

At that, Sasuke let go of Naruto’s hair. Naruto took his hand instead. He wasn’t sure why he did it, and Sasuke looked confused by the action. His hand was cold, they always were for Naruto. It said more about Naruto than Sasuke, though, as Naruto’s body temperature had always been weirdly high. 

« Don’t you think I look good like that? » Naruto asked him with a smirk. Sasuke only shrugged. 

« Or did you like my longer hair better? » 

Sasuke didn’t say anything and just looked away. That was answer enough.

« I’ll let it grow just for you, if you ask nicely. By the way, you truly look the emo boy now, what with your long raven hair, » Naruto said with a laugh. Even to his ears, it sounded weak.

Sasuke glared at him, but Naruto just laughed harder. 

He calmed down and then it was quiet again.

« I’m mad at you, you know, » Naruto said after a while. 

« At some point I almost wished I could hate you. But I never could. I understand your pain, Sasuke, I understand your reasons. But it hurt, so much, when you left me behind. When you told me I couldn’t go with you. It hurt so fucking much. » 

And Naruto was crying again. Damn it! He’d cried so much over the years, he shouldn’t have anything left to cry. 

But seeing Sasuke again… It was like opening an old wound that had never scabbed to begin with and healing it all at once. 

Sasuke tried to let go of Naruto’s hand, but Naruto wouldn’t let him. Naruto glared at him, and was unnerved to see the other was crying too. 

This time, Sasuke managed to free his hand, and he took the phone to type a message. 

« I’m sorry. I really am. » 

« Don’t do it again or I’ll kick your ass into oblivion, asshole. » was Naruto’s response on the phone.

« Idiot. 

I won’t. » 

They stayed silent for a long time after that.

  
Sasuke was hurting, and it was all his own fault. Seeing Naruto after all these years was as painful as it was liberating. 

And never before had he been so frustrated with his inability to speak. He wanted to, but he just couldn’t.

The mushi that had been forced in his body through Orochimaru’s bite fed on his negative emotions, and gods knew he had lots of them. But it didn’t exactly prevent him from speaking, it merely strengthened his preexistent condition. 

After his family’s death, after hearing his schoolmates say he was lucky to not have parents anymore, after realising how truly alone he now was, he’d found it harder and harder to just talk to people. 

Eventually, he’d stopped speaking at all. 

That was until Naruto had decided to force his way into his life. Naruto would fight him on everything, the idiot would never leave him alone. 

Eventually, Sasuke had found his voice again.

It was all the idiot’s fault. He was relentless in bugging Sasuke, in pushing all his buttons. Sasuke had had to snap, it had been bound to happen. 

Then they’d become something like friends. The word « friends » didn’t really fit, but « soulmates » was too big of a word. Naruto understood Sasuke on a level that scared the latter sometimes. 

And then Sasuke had betrayed him in the worst way possible. He’d tried to kill him in the name of revenge. He’d left him behind, claiming he had to do this alone. 

And he’d tried his damnest to make it worth it, but it just didn’t feel like it was. He had to become stronger, to become strong enough to find and kill the mushi that had possessed his brother to murder their family, strong enough to bring his brother home. 

He had spent so many years angry at the entire world. Angry at the system that had caused his brother to be contaminated by a mushi, a system that used their clan abilities but left them with little recognition for their efforts. Angry about everyone’s reactions to his family’s massacre. Angry about his isolation, with this system that had left him alone when he needed someone, anyone, to take care of him. 

His clan had been such an important one in the prefecture. The Uchiha and their eyes that allowed them to see mushi and energy – not unlike what Naruto could see. The Uchiha and their ability to burn mushi, to erase their very existence, whenever needed. The Uchiha, who sacrificed themselves times and times again. The clan had volunteered many members for the regular police. They had members in ANBU as well, the special task force that dealt with dangerous mushi and other dark secrets. All that just to keep people safe. 

For their efforts, the people had just shown contempt and suspicion. As a child, Sasuke hadn’t felt it that much, but he remembered how it had been, still. He remembered how tired his family looked, how they didn’t like leaving the clan compound unless they had to. 

It didn’t matter anymore. His clan was gone. The only thing he had left was his anger, and his duty to avenge his family.

That was why it was so hard for him to try to let go of the anger, to see something else but his need for revenge. 

Yet he couldn’t help but question his actions. He’d always believed relationships were a liability, but it felt less and less like it was true. He’d always believed he needed to do this alone, but maybe he could let himself be helped. 

Naruto wanted to be here for him again. Stupid Naruto and his big heart. Sasuke didn’t think he deserved it. Naruto was bright, while Sasuke was anything but. He should probably leave Naruto again, before he brought some of his darkness to the other’s life. 

But now Naruto was sleeping on his bed, looking peaceful and relaxed and content. His light brown skin, his curly blond hair that was so soft to the touch, the scars on his cheeks. He took it all in: his brown lips, fuller than he’d remembered, his thick eyebrows, the freckles on his rather flat nose bridge, on the same nose that Sasuke had broken once – there, if you looked close enough, it was slightly bent to the right. He didn’t like the circles under the other’s eyes, or how he was paler than usual, but maybe that had to do with the fact that Naruto had gone clubbing the night before.

Sasuke had known this face by heart, and he had to learn it all over again.

Sasuke knew the darkness of his own heart, and he knew Naruto was the only one who could understand it. Naruto knew what it was like to have nothing, to be unwanted. And yet he still managed to not hate everyone because of it. 

Maybe he would let Naruto in again. Maybe he would learn this face again.

Sasuke got up quietly, and started writing down everything he knew about the mushi he’d been infected with. 

After a while, Naruto woke up, Sasuke’s name on his lips, a look of panic on his face. Naruto relaxed instantly upon seeing Sasuke at his desk, and Sasuke vowed he would protect the soft smile that was now on Naruto’s face at all cost. 

He couldn’t bear to leave Naruto again. It would probably kill him. And Naruto had made it clear he didn’t want him to leave, so maybe it was alright if he stayed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter, we get a bit of Iruka!! Finally!! He'll be more present later on. And also more team 7 + Kakashi interactions. Please look forward to that :)
> 
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	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto calls Iruka. Team 7 meets again, and things take an unexpected turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Team!!7!! I love them. And Iruka too, although we don't see much of him for now.  
> It's been alternating between heavy rains and stuffy weather as of late, and it's tiring me a lot. I hope y'all are doing OK ♡

Naruto called Iruka once he was back in his room. He’d fallen asleep on Sasuke’s bed, and now it was late enough that Iruka-sensei was probably done with his day. Kurama hummed at the back of his mind; he liked Iruka well enough, although he’d probably never admit it. 

Iruka picked up soon enough, and Naruto relaxed instantly upon hearing his familiar voice. 

« Hey Naruto! How are you? It’s good to hear from you! » Iruka’s voice was tired, probably from his day, but it was also laced with a fondness that made Naruto’s insides feel warm. 

Iruka was the only person who’d never given up on Naruto. He was Naruto’s brother, had been since the orphanage. He’d taken care of Naruto even though he’d been just a teenager at the time. 

« I’m tired, aniki. Tokyo is so busy, with people everywhere! I miss the mountains and the nature, » Naruto whined. It was always good to call Iruka. It made him relax, talking in dialect for a while. He tried to tone his accent down a bit now that he was in Tokyo, but he knew he still sounded rural to the people here. 

Speaking in dialect was truly something that was for Iruka only. Sasuke had been from an old family, so he’d never learnt and had a mostly standard accent, especially since kids at school were expected to use standard Japanese. At the orphanage, though, the people taking care of them mostly spoke the Aizu dialect. 

« How was your day? How are the kids? They aren’t giving you too much trouble, I hope, » Naruto continued.

Iruka was a part-time middle-school teacher, and a part-time something else. Naruto wasn’t sure what that something else was, he just knew that it implied spending a lot of time reading very old books.

Iruka chuckled. « Well they’re not as creative as you when it comes to wreaking havoc, thank the gods. » 

Iruka told him more about his day, and Naruto listened happily. Iruka didn’t talk too much about himself, so Naruto always paid great attention when he did.

« How about you Naruto? What’s on your mind, you sound troubled. » 

Even on the phone, Iruka could read him well. Naruto didn’t mind, though. Iruka was his aniki. 

« I found him, aniki. I found Sasuke, and now I’m not sure what to do. » 

Naruto wasn’t sure how Iruka would react. He’d been so happy when Naruto had told him he’d made a friend. He’d been heartbroken when Naruto had been heartbroken too, after Sasuke had left. He’d comforted Naruto, had done his best to help him through his worst moments. And he’d always been there to share Naruto’s happiest moments, too. 

Iruka stayed silent for a while. 

« What do you want now, Naruto? I think that’s the most important question. You’ve had it hard, and Sasuke might have been your friend, but he hurt you. » 

« I wish I could just protect you from the pain, but that’s not how it works. I know what you two had was special. Anyone with eyes could see that. But he betrayed you, and you did everything you could, gave everything you had to give to find him. Do you think he’s ready to give back in return? »

Naruto didn’t know. He truly didn’t, and that scared him.

« You can’t keep giving and never receiving anything in return. But it’s your decision, and no matter what you do, you’ll always have me. You know that, right? » 

That Naruto knew. He told Iruka as much, and could hear the other’s smile in his tone.

« I have to go now, but call me if you need anything. It was good talking to you, Naruto, take care, » Iruka said.

« You too, aniki! Don’t let the brats take all you energy! » 

Iruka chuckled and hung up. Naruto felt slightly better, now, although it took him hours to fall asleep. 

Naruto usually didn’t like Saturdays. Either he had work, which was tiring, or he had nothing to do, and was generally too broke to do anything interesting. 

That Saturday was different, though. Kakashi-sensei had sent a message to the Team 7 group chat, asking them to meet up at Gokoku-ji, which was only a 15 minutes walk from their dorms. After that, he hoped he’d have time to do research on Sasuke’s mushi.

Why their sensei wanted to meet up at a temple, Naruto wasn’t sure, but it was probably better than to spend the day alone in his room. Their sensei had told them not to bother to dress nicely for him, to dress the way they normally did during the weekend, so Naruto had done that. It was nice to have a sensei that didn’t care too much about formality. He’d told them not to have breakfast as well, which was weird, but Naruto had complied easily. 

When it was around the time to go, Naruto heard a sharp knock on his door.

« _It’s the raven brat_ , » Kurama said. He’d often referred to Sasuke that way, back in their home town, and hearing the nickname again brought back bitter-sweet memories. 

Naruto unlocked the door, and surely there was Sasuke. He was entirely clad in black, with ripped jeans, a black sweater and black combat boots. He even had black nail polish.

« You’re meeting our sensei dressed like that? » Naruto said with a teasing smile. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes and typed « Sensei said to dress like we usually do outside of university. This is my normal style. » 

Naruto only chuckled at that. Sasuke had always been on the emo-goth side in terms of style, and apparently that hadn’t changed.

« Are you ready or what? » Sasuke typed then, looking as impatient as ever. 

Naruto was, actually, so he put his trusted orange sneakers on and then they went. 

The walk there was awkward until Naruto started babbling about his life. He didn’t know if Sasuke cared at all, but Naruto was nervous and it tended to make him ramble. Sasuke seemed to be listening, though, typing questions from time to time but otherwise seeming content to just listen. 

« _Slow down, kid, you’re forgetting to breathe_ , » Kurama reminded him at some point. Right. Right right right. Naruto wiped his clammy hands on his jeans and forced himself to breathe. Talking to Sasuke still felt surreal. He really didn’t know how to act around the other anymore. 

Naruto hadn’t realised he’d stopped in the middle of a sentence until Sasuke poked the side of his head. Naruto glared at him, which only made the other smirk.

« Asshole, » Naruto said, before he went on with what he was saying. 

They arrived right on time at the meeting point, and Haruno was already there. 

« Hey Haruno! » Naruto said with an enthusiastic smile. 

Haruno replied with a small awkward wave, before turning to Sasuke. 

« Hey Sasuke! You two went together? Next time, we can go together if you want! » 

Naruto sighed inwardly. Haruno was probably decent enough, and she was pretty too. 

In middle school, he’d probably have had a crush on her and would have fought for her attention. 

In high school, he’d probably have tried to befriend her, if he’d been in a work group with her like he was now. 

22-year-old Naruto was a bit tired of people ignoring him, though. And a bit less willing to fight for people’s attention. So he just said nothing and let Haruno talk to Sasuke all she wanted. 

Sasuke kept glancing at him, though, like Naruto was a puzzle and he was trying to solve him. Naruto shrugged at the attention.

Sasuke pulled his phone and typed something before shoving it at Haruno.

Naruto took a look as well and laughed embarrassingly when he read the simple « Don’t ignore Naruto » Sasuke had typed. 

« Don’t be an asshole, Sasuke, » he said to the other. Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto turned to Haruno, who looked intrigued. 

« Do you guys know each other? » She asked, a beat too late.

Naruto agreed vaguely, and Sasuke shrugged. 

« Well, I bet Kakashi-sensei’s going to be late again. Let’s get to know one another! » Haruno said, probably trying to diffuse the weird atmosphere.

They sat on a bench near the main gate, Naruto sandwiched between Haruno and Sasuke. Haruno had tried to sit next to Sasuke, but the latter had pushed Naruto to the middle of the bench and had sat next to him, leaving no room for Sakura between them. 

« So, Haruno, you said you were into plants? » Naruto asked before the silence could get too awkward. 

Haruno beamed at him. 

« Yes! I’m really into traditional medicine based on plants. You can do so much with the right plants! I wish I could have a garden to grow my own herbs and stuff, but here in Tokyo it’s a bit complicated, » she said with a small huff. 

« But I know where to buy good-quality plants, so that’s that. I have an online shop where I sell my medicine, if you’re interested. » 

« Really?! Where did you learn to make your own medicine? » Naruto exclaimed. She was the same age as him, and she was doing a masters in engineering _and_ managing an online shop? That was impressive. 

« I read so many books on botany growing up. My parents live in the countryside, so I could grow my own garden there. When I made it to college, I tracked down one of the most famous herbalist in the country – who’s an alumni of our University by the way – and after a bit of convincing she agreed to train me! She’s still training me, but she said I was ready enough to open my shop. » 

« That’s impressive Haruno! Well done! » Naruto said. The other smiled proudly.

« But you’re not studying medicine or pharmacology now, so what will you do when you graduate? » Naruto continued.

Haruno deflated at the question. 

« I had to go to university because my parents didn’t support my choice to become an herbalist. I’m not sure whether I’ll go for an engineering job or not. My shop is doing well online, but I don’t know if it’d be enough to make a job out of it… » 

« In any case, going to university allowed you to find a sensei more easily, right? You still have some time to decide before job hunting season. I’m sure you’ll do great anyways! » 

Haruno seemed to cheer up a bit at his words. Naruto was really impressed by her, she probably had had to work really hard to get to where she was now. 

« What about you two? Do you know what you want to do after graduating? » Haruno asked. 

Naruto, in fact, did not. He had duties, as a mushishi. The main reason he’d gone to university was to find Sasuke (and kick his stupid ass), although it wasn’t the only reason. Naruto looked at Sasuke, who was already looking at him. They both turned back to Sakura at the same time. Naruto said he didn’t know, while Sasuke shrugged. 

« How did you two meet anyway? » was Haruno’s next question. 

« We’re from the same town. We grew up together, then Sasuke went here and I went to a university in our area. » 

It was such a vague description of their shared history, but it was none of Haruno’s business. 

« Really?! You two were friends growing up? You look so… different. » 

Clearly she meant Naruto wasn’t good enough to be associated with Sasuke. 

« _Your raven is getting angry_ , » Kurama warned. 

« _He’s not my anything_ , » Naruto snapped. _Not anymore_ was what he wanted to say. 

Naruto couldn’t blame Haruno. Naruto had tried and tried again, but he could never compare to Sasuke. He zoned out while Haruno described the numerous prizes and whatnot Sasuke had apparently won during his undergrad years. 

He was brought back to reality by Sasuke’s phone, as Sasuke nudged him hard with it.

« Go wait over there. » 

« Bossy much, are we? Why should I do that? » Naruto asked, interrupting Haruno and not really caring about it. 

« Just do as I say. » 

Naruto sighed but obliged. He didn’t care much anyway. Haruno had soured his mood. 

He walked over to a huge vase filled with water, and admired the small mushi that had gathered there. The water was slowly flowing out of the vase, a tranquil fountain, and the mushi seemed to appreciate the tranquillity too. They looked like small puffs of light, and Naruto played with them while Sasuke was doing whatever. 

« _What are they saying, Kurama?_ » Naruto couldn’t help but ask after a while. 

« _The raven brat is defending your honour, it seems_. »

« _Is he, now_ , » Naruto answered, turning to glance at the two of them. Sasuke was radiating so much angry energy Naruto could sense it from where he was standing.

« _You’re being watched_ , » Kurama said with a growl.

Naruto turned in the direction Kurama was indicating, and to his surprise, he found his sensei watching them. He was half hidden behind a small building, pretending to be reading a book. Was it _porn_? 

Discreetly, Naruto moved around the building, until he was just behind his sensei.

« Yo, Naruto, » Kakashi-sensei said without even turning around.

« Gods shit fuck! » Naruto exclaimed. 

He’d been startled hard, and his heart was beating fast in his chest. « Geez, Kakashi-sensei! You could have warned me or something » 

Kakashi-sensei turned to face him. « Well, you weren’t planning on warning me, were you? » 

Naruto scratched his head sheepishly but didn’t answer the question. It was the first time he was this close to his sensei, and with no one else around, Naruto could clearly feel his energy. His sensei reeked of pain, grief, regret, guilt, all hidden away under a heavy dose of apathy, and it would have been painful to just stand next to him if his energy wasn't being held in a startling tight grip. 

As it was, Naruto was only able to tell because he was _that_ perceptive, and that close to his sensei. Naruto didn’t understand his sensei’s emotions and where they were coming from, and although Kakashi-sensei was virtually a stranger, his heart hurt as well.

But now wasn’t the time for such a discussion.

« Were you spying on us, sensei? » 

« Maa, I just arrived, » was Kakashi-sensei’s non-answer.

« So, Naruto, how do you like your fellow students? Are you adjusting well to the life in Tokyo? » He continued. 

How was Naruto supposed to answer that? 

« Uh, they’re alright. We don’t know one another that well, although I knew Sasuke already. »

Kakashi’s visible eye narrowed minutely at the informal use of Sasuke’s first name. His sensei definitely was paying much more attention than his nonchalant posture was letting on. 

« And Tokyo is very different from what I’m used to. Everyone is in a bit of a rush here, or it feels like it anyway. And I haven’t found a good ramen place yet… » Naruto was rambling now, but he didn’t know his sensei well, and strangers always made him nervous. 

« I can give you some recommendations for ramen places in the area and around campus, if you’d like, » Kakashi-sensei said. « For now, let’s join the others, shall we? » 

Naruto didn’t know what to make of his sensei, but at least he didn’t seem to have any ill intent, so he just nodded. 

He’d never noticed before how dead inside his sensei looked.

« Yo, » their sensei said once again, as they reached the others. The atmosphere around the two was somehow tensed, but not as much as Naruto expected. Haruno looked apologetic, and Sasuke a bit angry still. 

They both greeted their sensei, Haruno with a bow and a bright « Good morning sensei! » that contrasted with the conflicted emotions apparent in her energy, and Sasuke with a curt bow. 

Kakashi-sensei seemed satisfied enough, and led them to a small building near the main temple. Their sensei was yet to tell them what they were doing here, but the students hadn't dared question him. 

« Alright! Dear students of mine, you’re probably wondering why I asked you to come here on this beautiful day, » Kakashi started cheerfully. Naruto looked up at the gloomy grey sky and thought that really, his sensei was full of shit. 

« As your sensei, it’s my duty to guide you during the next two years. However, I have to make sure you are worthy of our lab, » he continued with his cheerful tone, « and let’s say I’m not entirely convinced so far. » 

The man chuckled at that. Naruto swallowed against the lump in his throat. Haruno and Sasuke tensed beside him. Kurama said nothing but Naruto could tell they were paying attention. 

« But sensei, what was the point of accepting us into masters degree then?! » Naruto couldn’t help but exclaim. 

« Well, we have to select the students that look good enough on paper, but then each laboratory has their own method to determine whether or not students have a chance keeping up with the work we’ll give them. » 

Kakashi-sensei looked up at the sky, as if considering something. 

« Hm, I don’t know if I should tell you this, I don’t want you to freak you out, but… »

Then he did shit-eating smile, the one where only his visible eye was smiling, or pretending to be, at least, while his mouth wasn’t smiling at all underneath his mask. Naruto was pretty sure the others couldn’t tell, but Naruto was always watching carefully.

As no one reacted, Kakashi-sensei went on. 

« Well, no one has ever passed my test, so that’s that! Maybe you’ll be the first to do so, who knows. » 

Naruto breathed in and out slowly, trying to keep his temper in check this time. He’d gotten better at that, with Iruka’s and Kurama’s help, but he was still itching to yell at their sensei or kick something or someone. 

« Well then, » Kakashi-sensei said, « let me tell you about that little test of mine. » 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm I’m sorry for the cliffhanger~ I wasn’t sure whether to post the test and its outcome in this chapter or in the next, but this chapter would be too long if I put it here ;( Next week, we find out about Kakashi’s test, and Naruto has a mushi to deal with!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The test is not what they expected...  
> Sasuke tries his best to do feelings. Sakura isn't sure what she's getting into. Naruto is just trying to do his job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why hello. Sorry for the delay, I had to deal with some personal stuff that literally gave me a migraine and so I was out of commission for a couple days... But I'm better now! So here's chapter 5, one of my favorite chapters so far, where we see a bit of Sasuke being possessive af and some Team 7 interactions.
> 
> It's kinda still the exposition, and I can't wait to get to the actual plot, but we're getting there ^^ I hope you're all well and that you'll enjoy this chapter~

Kakashi-sensei’s test was simple in principle. All they had to do was to win a game of Monopoly against him.

A game of fucking Monopoly. What was wrong with their sensei?!

When, very calmly, their sensei had started explaining the rules of Monopoly, Naruto had thought it was a joke. A sick one, maybe, but he was pretty sure his sensei _had been_ reading _porn_ in public. So, really, it probably wasn’t that weird coming from him. 

Next to him, Haruno looked like she might punch their sensei in the face. Sasuke merely narrowed his eyes. 

Naruto scratched the back of his head. Their sensei was now reaching the end of his explanation, telling them that only two of them could win, and the worst player would be kicked out of the university. 

At least one of them would be kicked out… Naruto couldn’t afford to lose. But most importantly, Sasuke couldn’t lose. He was the one for whom it mattered the most, to stay in UTokyo. Then Naruto's priority would be to help him win. Naruto didn’t care much what happened to Haruno.

Naruto exchanged a look with Sasuke. They were thinking the same thing. 

  
Once he finished explaining everything, Kakashi-sensei prepared the Monopoly board. They sat on the tatami in the hisashi, the open corridor under the extended roof of the small temple. Kakashi-sensei had to know the sect whose temple it was, or so Naruto hoped. It would be awkward to be kicked out while they were playing Monopoly.

Then the game started. 

Naruto was doing his best to help Sasuke, and to prevent both Haruno and Kakashi-sensei from winning. Sasuke played aggressively, trying to buy everything, and Naruto was discreetly giving him some of his money whenever he won any. He’d always been good at cheating. Haruno was doing well, and she was the first one to manage to buy a house. She kept trying to make Naruto lose, though, blocking him whenever she had the chance. 

For a while, it looked as though they all had a chance to win.

Then Naruto ended up in jail for a few turns. Sasuke struggled for a while, without the irregular extra cash he’d been getting from the other.

Then Haruno, in a fit of bad luck, had to mortgage one of her properties, and from there, things went south. 

It was as though their sensei could manipulate the dice. And see the future. It was impossible. He was still reading his book – which definitely _was_ porn, only half a mind on the game, while still being the one managing the bank. And yet, everything went in his favour. 

Naruto was the first one to go bankrupt. Then Haruno did, and it was just Sasuke and Kakashi-sensei. 

Naruto still couldn’t believe a fucking game of Monopoly was about to decide their future. 

Sasuke was boiling with anger, yet all his focus was on the game. Both of them had many properties, although Kakashi-sensei had managed to snatch all the most expensive ones.

It was inevitable. Sasuke lost as well.

It was silent for a minute, the three of them digesting their defeat. 

Kakashi eye-smiled at them. 

« Well… You all should just quit already. You’re not fit for our lab, or for any lab for that matter, » their sensei said calmly. 

Naruto’s temper flared again. 

« What do you mean!? » Naruto was getting really angry, and Sasuke as well, judging by how his energy flared. 

« Do you think you were put in a team just for fun? You punks really have no idea how this works. » 

« Sensei… » Haruno started. Kakashi-sensei didn’t let her finish. 

« You don’t understand this test. Why do you think it’s designed this way? » 

Naruto didn’t understand, and at this point, he was too upset to think in any case. Kurama growled again, but at Naruto this time. 

« _Think, kit. There’s a lesson here that he’s trying to teach you three_. » 

What could it be? The test was meant for them to fight amongst themselves. Yet Kakashi-sensei had just mentioned their being a team, so it must be important… 

They had had no chance to win against their sensei, who was somehow a genius in Monopoly. Individually, they just couldn’t beat him. Did that mean…? 

« Teamwork… » Naruto muttered. 

« That can’t be! How could this be about teamwork if only two of us can make it? » Haruno exclaimed with a glare.

Kakashi-sensei sighed. 

« That’s right. Teamwork, » Kakashi-sensei said. 

Haruno huffed and crossed her arms. 

« If the three of you had worked together to block me, you may have won, » he continued. 

« What teamwork? Only two of us would have won! It just makes us fight one another, » Haruno repeated angrily.

Kakashi-sensei sighed again, as if Haruno hadn’t made a perfectly reasonable point. 

« Of course, » he said, looking bored by the whole ordeal, « the purpose is to see whether you can forget your personal interest and successfully work together in these specific circumstances. Yet, you punks…» 

He sighed again. 

« Sakura, you did alright in the game, but you kept trying to make Naruto lose so that you could win first. Naruto, you tried to help Sasuke win, but in return, didn’t try to win at all, even when you had opportunities. Sasuke, you did everything by yourself, accepting Naruto’s help but not helping him in return. » 

They all squirmed at the analysis. Naruto felt like an idiot. 

« You should work as a team. Of course, individual abilities are important. But what we values most in our lab is teamwork. You won’t go anywhere in life if you don’t learn to trust your teammates. » 

There was silence as they all digested what Kakashi-sensei had said. 

« I’ll give you one more chance this afternoon, but know I’ll go even harder than this morning. Those who still wish to challenge me can eat. I have two bento, but don’t give anything to Naruto. He lost first, so he doesn’t deserve the food. »

That was harsh. What a gigantic asshole Kakashi-sensei was. Whatever, Naruto was used to people being mean to him and humiliating him whenever they could. It almost didn’t make him want to cry.

« If anyone gives him food, they will fail immediately. I make the rules here, got it? » 

Then their sensei left. 

« Eh! I don’t need food anyways! » Naruto said with a fake smile, just as his stomach grumbled loudly. He looked down at his feet. Whatever. It made sense now that their sensei had told them not to eat beforehand; he was ravenous.

Sasuke and Sakura started eating. After a mouthful, Sasuke sighed and gave his bento to Naruto. 

« Sasuke! You can’t do that, you’ll be kicked out if Kakashi-sensei finds out!! » Haruno exclaimed. 

Naruto didn’t want Sasuke to fail because of him either. Sasuke shrugged. 

« I’m pretty sure our sensei didn’t stick around, and I know Naruto can’t think on an empty stomach. We need him for this afternoon, » he typed on his phone. Naruto read out loud for Haruno. 

Haruno frowned, then she handed her bento as well, not looking in Naruto’s direction.

Naruto blushed at his teammates’ attention. He really hoped Kakashi-sensei wouldn’t notice they’d given him food. 

He had just accepted the food when the paper panel behind them slid. 

« You punks!! » Kakashi-sensei’s voice had never been that terrifying. 

Haruno and Naruto yelped in surprise. They were screwed. Kakashi-sensei would fail them all. Anxiety was pooling in Naruto’s stomach, he couldn’t believe it was the end for them. 

« You pass! » Their sensei then said with his first genuine smile. 

« Uh? » was Naruto’s answer.

So they had passed. The three of them. 

Haruno had asked why – they were the first team to be passed by Kakashi-sensei ever, after all – and to that, their sensei had answered with a weird intensity: « Before you, I only had stuck up students who would follow the rules at all cost. In this world, those who break the rules are scum. But you know what? Those who abandon their teammates are worse than scum. »

There was a story there, but their sensei didn’t seem the type to volunteer private information, so Naruto hadn’t asked.

Kakashi-sensei had taken the metro to go home, after telling them he’d contact them soon for their next team activity or whatever. The three of them were now going up the steep hill that led to their dorms.

« I hate this hill, » Naruto complained loudly. Haruno agreed. When they made it to the dorms, Haruno stopped Sasuke and Naruto before they could go to their block.

« Guys, we’re a team now. You two can call me Sakura, OK? » She said with a smile. It was slightly hesitant, but at least it was there. Naruto was glad she seemed to be over the whole ignoring him thing, and told her to call him Naruto too. 

Sasuke nodded at her, seemingly content with this development. 

« Let’s hang out soon! » Naruto said, then they parted way with her to go to their block. 

They were just out of the elevator when Naruto’s phone started vibrating furiously. He checked his notifications, and surely he had many Discord messages from an unknown sender. 

He looked quickly at the messages, and it was mushi-related, so he told Sasuke he’d see him later. The messages looked quite urgent, which was annoying. Naruto wanted to have some time to look through the archives for anything that might help him with Sasuke’s case, but it would have to wait. He opened the door and went in, Sasuke just behind him.

« Uh… Everything alright? » Naruto asked, confused as to why Sasuke had followed him. 

« What were those messages about? They made you frown. » Sasuke typed on his phone.

« Ah, it’s just a mushi I have to take care of! Don’t worry about it, » Naruto said dismissively. He already had his mind on the case, wondering what it was about and what kind of mushi it would be. 

Sasuke took his wrist, and made the other turn to face him. He frowned as he had to let go of Naruto’s wrist to type on his phone with both hands.

« I don’t think you understand, Naruto. I said I wouldn’t leave, but it also means you can’t leave either. » 

« Ah, Sasuke…, » Naruto said, scratching his head, « it’s alright, I’m just going to investigate. I’m not actually leaving or anything, it’s a case in the area. » 

Sasuke got even more frustrated at Naruto’s answer. Naruto wasn’t sure what was going on. Sasuke had never cared like that before. Was it because he was worried about the mushi that had infected him? 

There was a hint of anxiety in Sasuke’s energy. Was he really scared? Naruto took Sasuke’s wrists. 

« Hey, Sasuke. It’s OK. I’m not going anywhere. It looked like the case was an emergency, so I’ll go check it out now. I’ll start doing research on your mushi as soon as it’s done, alright? » 

Sasuke frowned harder and looked away. He huffed, but if anything he sounded frustrated with himself. He took his phone again.

« Turn around » 

What was wrong with Sasuke? When Naruto didn’t comply immediately, Sasuke just glared at him, until Naruto turned around eventually. Naruto was getting frustrated too; Sasuke made no sense. 

Then Sasuke rested his forehead between Naruto’s shoulder blades. Naruto heard him sigh. They stayed like that for a while. Naruto didn’t complain, Sasuke was a warm presence and he was content to just wait for him to be ready to do whatever it was he wanted to do.

So Naruto didn’t say anything; Sasuke’s energy was a mess he couldn’t begin to understand. It calmed down eventually, Sasuke had probably reached a decision.

« Let me come with you, » Sasuke said with a rasp voice. 

Naruto tried to turn around, but Sasuke didn’t let him. Sasuke had just used his voice! Naruto wanted to scream and cry and hug Sasuke.

Sasuke had talked to him.

Sasuke, who’d lost his voice before, had found it once again to talk to him. Naruto wasn’t sure what to do with that privilege, but it made him profoundly happy that Sasuke trusted him with his voice.

And it was such a relief that Sasuke could still talk, it meant the mushi didn’t completely prevent that. Naruto wasn’t sure he would have been able to restore Sasuke’s voice if it’d been completely lost. 

Knowing Sasuke, though, he probably didn’t want him to make a big deal out of it. So Naruto wouldn’t. He laughed softly, his heart filled with much warmth. He knew he was blushing, so he was glad he wasn’t facing the other.

« Of course you can come. I’d like it, to have you with me, » Naruto said soflty. 

Sasuke didn’t block him as he turned around this time. 

« Let’s check what the case is about, yeah? » Naruto said, retrieving his phone, moving on. He was in a much better mood now, he felt like he was floating. His cheeks still were still warm, but he didn’t really mind.

The messages were from a person living in Shinjuku. They said they had seen small black creatures that looked like butterflies but weren’t, through their window. They looked like sketches, they said. They’d attached a picture, and it did look like ink creatures flying around.

Naruto answered the messages, asking if it was alright to come investigate now, and the person agreed easily. Naruto took the bag with all his mushishi stuff, and the two of them left their block to go to the metro station. They ran into Sakura at the konbini down the dorms. 

« Hi guys! Where are you heading? » She asked curiously. 

« _Ask her to come with,_ » Kurama said. 

« _Eh? Why would I do that?_ » 

Sakura seemed alright now, but he still didn’t like or trust her all that much.

« _She knows her way with plants and remedies. She could be a good ally_ , » they answered. 

Naruto didn’t really want her to come; he could use a bit of alone time with Sasuke to try and find his footing with him. But he trusted Kurama’s judgement. 

It’d be a test, too. If Sakura reacted badly to mushi, to his abilities, then at least he’d know where he stood with her on that. The sooner he knew if he could trust her the better. He looked at Sasuke, and raised an eyebrow at him. Sasuke seemed to understand and nodded slightly. Sasuke was fine with it, then.

« We’re going to investigate a weird phenomenon in Shinjuku. Do you want to come with? It might be fun, » Naruto answered out loud, with a bright grin. 

« What kind of phenomenon? » She asked, curious.

« Well, come with us and you’ll see! » 

Sakura shrugged at the cryptic answer, but said she’d come along, as she didn’t have anything planned. 

  
On the metro, Sakura kept glancing at Naruto, as if she wanted to say something. 

« Do I have something on my face? » He asked eventually. 

« Not at all! Sorry for staring. You just look different, like something good happened to you, » she answered with a shrug. 

« You’re literally glowing, idiot » Sasuke typed on his phone.

Well, he couldn’t be blamed if he was really happy to have heard Sasuke’s voice, could he?

« You’re the one to blame for that, asshole, » Naruto said with a huff.

Sakura looked between the two of them, then seemed to realise something.

« Oh my God… I didn’t know you two were… That you had that kind of relationship. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude! » She said in a rush.

What the hell was she talking about? Sasuke blushed brightly at her words. 

« _She thinks you two are together, brat_ , » Kurama growled. He sounded very much done with them. 

Naruto spluttered. « It’s not that kind of glow! Sasuke and I aren’t like that, what the fuck Sakura! » 

Now he was blushing too. And he was a bit annoyed at her assumptions. They spent the rest of the ride in silence.

They took the Yurakucho Line to Ichigaya Station, then changed for the Toei Shinjuku Line for two stations. The person Naruto had talked to would pick them up at the A2 exit. 

His client turned out to be a middle-aged woman. She looked dubiously at the three of them.

« Hello, ma’am! » Naruto said brightly. 

He was used to people not trusting him as a mushishi because of his young age. He kept a polite and professional front even in the face of the hostility he sometimes had to endure. Being a mushishi was his duty, and he’d found out early on that people were assholes. It didn’t change the fact that he had a job to do.

He could feel Sasuke’s heavy gaze on him. Had Sasuke always studied him with such intensity? It unnerved him a bit.

« Thank you for contacting me! I’m the mushishi you talked to earlier. My name is Uzumaki Naruto. May I ask you how you found out about my services? » 

The lady introduced herself as Kurisu Urara. Her father had had to contact a mushishi when she’d been a child, as their house had been haunted by a spirit that had turned out to be a mushi. She’d asked her father for the contact of that mushishi, who’d then given her access to the Discord server where most mushishi were referenced. Naruto had been the one closest to where she lived.

Being a mushishi wasn’t as hard as it used to be. Most mushishi used to be nomads, walking from town to town, solving cases and helping people as they went.

It was much easier nowadays. Information travelled fast, although the existence of mushishi still mostly spread from word of mouth. Mushishi could stay in the same place, only travelling if they were needed, as it was easier to contact one of them if you needed help. The Discord server guaranteed some anonymity, too. 

They walked to her house. Naruto was surprised to see he recognised the neighbourhood. Her house turned out to be right next to Sai’s building, which made Naruto a tad nervous. 

Not that he wasn’t fine with seeing Sai. It was just that, for some reasons, he didn’t want Sasuke to find out about their hook-up. It was probably because of Sakura’s earlier comment. 

« _For someone so perceptive when it comes to others, you are awfully blind when it comes to yourself and your raven brat_ , » Kurama said. 

Naruto didn’t want to think about that too much for now, so he ignored the comment. 

Mrs. Kurisu let them in, and offered them tea. Her house was small, like most houses in Tokyo, and it needed some renovation work. It was quaint, though. 

« Thank you for the tea, Mrs. Kurisu. Can you tell me what happened? » Naruto said with what he liked to call his customer service voice. Sasuke was still staring, and Naruto glared at him when Mrs. Kurisu looked away. Sakura looked uncertain, but didn’t say anything. 

« Yes… The first time it happened was Monday, just after I came back from work, around 8pm. I sat down here, and I saw the creatures through my window. They weren’t doing anything bad, just floating around? » 

« I didn’t think much of it. I thought it was a hallucination at first. I work in IT, I spend most of my day looking at a computer screen, so I thought maybe my eyes were tired. Especially since it was quite dark out. » 

« But then it happened again the next day, around the same time, and it kept happening after that. When I managed to take a picture of them, I knew it wasn’t just a hallucination. » 

She looked unsure of herself and was worrying her hands. 

« Mrs. Kurisu, can you usually see mushi? Have you seen other mushi, outside of these black creatures? » Naruto asked. She shook her head.

« That’s the thing. It’s the first time I see a mushi. Even when I was a child and our house was haunted, I didn’t see anything. » 

Naruto hummed thoughtfully. Was it really a mushi? Some were easier to perceive than others, but even so, it was unlikely that she could see just this one and no other. He checked the time, it was just past 6pm. 

« If that’s alright with you, Mrs. Kurisu, we could investigate your house and the area. Then, we’ll come here at the time you usually see the mushi, so that I can try to see them for myself. How does that sound? » 

Mrs. Kurisu agreed easily, and showed them around the house. There wasn’t much to see, and Naruto didn’t see or feel anything unusual. Then they investigated just outside the house, and Naruto spotted some black ink smears near the kitchen window. 

He asked Mrs. Kurisu about it, but she didn’t know where they were from. 

« Alright, we’ll investigate the area now! See you later, Mrs. Kurisu! » Naruto said cheerfully. 

Once they were out of earshot, Sakura stopped them with her arm. Naruto glanced at Sasuke, who looked kind of bored. Naruto could tell he was paying attention, though.

« Alright, Naruto, do you mind telling me what the hell is going on here? What is a mushi? And what are you trying to do here? Are you one of those scammers, who con vulnerable adults and elderly people? » Her voice was laced with anger and coldness and in that moment, Naruto thought she truly was terrifying.

« Wow, calm down Sakura! I’m not a scammer! » Naruto was a bit nervous; he had the feeling that if he couldn’t convince Sakura, she’d beat the hell out of him.

So he told her about mushi, explained what they were and how they were a part of this world that most people couldn’t see nor interact with.

« And I’m a mushishi, so basically, a specialist of everything mushi-related. I document cases where mushi and people interact, and where I’m sometimes needed so as to prevent a negative outcome. Mushi are just trying to survive, like everyone else, but sometimes their presence disrupt other people’s lives. That’s when I intervene. » 

She looked at him with an intensity that made him uncomfortable. 

« I’m not sure I entirely believe you, » she said, « but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt for now. I’ll see how this case goes. » 

Then she looked at Sasuke. « And what’s your role in this mess? » she asked, not unkindly. 

Sasuke shrugged, so Naruto answered for him. « He’s my emotional support asshole, » Naruto said with a smirk. Sasuke rolled his eyes and elbowed him. Naruto took the opportunity to link their arms, and started walking again. Sasuke struggled against the contact, but he didn’t actually try to make Naruto let go.

« Come on, let’s see if there’s a park in the area! I want to browse through the archives to see if something like this has happened before. » 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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